Nov 13, 2012

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Tips for Dirtbags: Food

Tips for Dirtbags: Food

Adopting dismally low standards is the key to a life of luxury and true contentment. An example: Buddhist monks are known to have to beg the masses for a small, daily donation of rice, but who could argue that Buddhists aren’t clearly the happiest folks on earth? The same is true of dirtbags. All we need is enough nourishment to fuel an assault on a nearby peak or a full day of serious loitering.

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Nov 12, 2012

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How to Poop in the Woods

How to Poop in the Woods

Sometimes terrible things happen in the woods. Terrible smelly things that are full of anger and moodiness and mustardy defiance, and sometimes, they occur right alongside a trail or in a fine place to set up camp. They may be referred to as “landmines” or “Dukes.” But just because you’re up a creek without a crapper doesn’t mean it’s acceptable to release your intestinal rage onto the wilderness with reckless abandon.

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Nov 11, 2012

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Why You Should Destroy Your Car

Why You Should Destroy Your Car

I am a cyclist living in Los Angeles, a terrible place for engaging in such a “useless activity” (as one L.A. opinion columnist put it). The streets of L.A. create obstacle courses of chaos where bike lanes are one-foot wide pits of glass, bright yellow Hummers and lifted SUVs speed through the streets like great traveling middle fingers, smog hovers above the skyscrapers like the ghosts of vultures hoping for us to be smeared across the pavement so they can pick through our innards.

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Nov 10, 2012

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Reasons for Skinny Dipping

Reasons for Skinny Dipping

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Nov 9, 2012

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DIY Frostbite Treatment

DIY Frostbite Treatment

An inebriated man – I won’t say who – was once deserted at a local pub on a frigid Minnesotan winter night. The evening’s swill was running circles around in his brain, making everything look runny. He hitched a ride

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from a friendly pub patron to where he lived, walked up the front steps and then dropped like a sack of bolts unconscious to the porch floor.

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