How To Tell if You’re a Stereotypical Outdoors(wo)man
If you are sitting in a local cafe, drinking rooibos, and reading Edward Abbey, then this article may be too late for you. Becoming an outdoor cliche can be tough. And while some people embrace the lifestyle and dedicate their entire existence to living off the land, there are many of us that fall between the cracks. What if you like the occasional weekend hike?What if you’re an avid skier but still enjoy the amenities of the front country? Unfortunately this grey area fosters the perfect environment for becoming an outdoor stereotype. Fortunately we have created a few guidelines that will help you recognize if you are a cilche. However, I would like to clarify that while some of these stereotypes are unflattering, there are worse categories to fall under.
Are you wearing Carhartts?
But don’t have a job in construction? Then you are probably a stereotype. “But I wear them while doing trail work” you might object. Well then wear them while doing trail work. If you are hanging out your local REI in Carhartt gear you are treading a dangerous path. Most outdoors enthusiasts will also be able to tell how outdoorsy you are by how worn in/dirty your Carhartts are. So if you’re going to wear them, at least scuff them up.
Are you sipping cowboy coffee from a Mason jar?
Nothing tastes better than gritty, muddy coffee served from a dirty pot. That may be true in the backcountry but if you’re still serving yourself cowboy coffee then I’m here to tell you there are better things in life. Invest in a french press or a percolator and upgrade to a mug. They make handles for a reason.
Do you burn the chapters from books as you read them?
This is a great tactic if you are in the backcountry on a multi-day trek. However, if you do not have to carry your home on your back then burning chapters from books is unnecessary and wasteful. On that note, if you’re doing this while on an adventure and then incorporate several stories surrounding the plight of your books–you’re probably a stereotype anyway.
Do most of your anecdotes start: “When I was trekking in (insert expensive, far away land here)”?
If you have a friend like this, you know exactly who it is. If you’re trying to think of who that person could be, it’s probably you. While trekking/rafting/climbing/kayaking/skiing are all fun activities those stories get old. If you want an environment where these tales are endlessly welcomed and encouraged move to Crested Butte.
Have you ever been to a Dave Matthews Band festival?
Contrary to what you might be thinking, you don’t even have to like Dave Matthews to attend these concerts. While most DMB stereotypes are reserved for middle aged hippies or bros, Dave attracts a subsect of outdoors people that, while they may be clandestine fans, still blast “All Along the Watchtower” in the climbing gym. (Doesn’t anyone know that song was originally written by Bob Dylan!?!?)
Do You Drive a Toyota Tacoma/Subaru?
There may be some variation, however, if you are driving one of these two cars and the back is filled with any of the following: climbing shoes, bicycle, kayaking gear, or camping equipment then you are most definitely an outdoor stereotype.