Reasons for Skinny Dipping
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Creator surely would have had us all born sporting undies if it was intended that we should ‘hide our thunder’ from the moment of birth onward. The donning of bathing suits is a defense mechanism that serves no real purpose but to cling uncomfortably to fleshly ornaments that should be set free, to limit the movement of an able body. So bust out your zero-piece
garment. It’s flexible, generally waterproof, and comes freewith most births.
The Presidents’ Recommendation
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of the finger when you strip down. A significant faction of the population finds skinny-dipping suspect, shocking
– controversial, even. But you can wag a different finger at them by dropping a little knowledge on their prudish edicts: Say the name,
‘John Quincy Adams,’ or ‘Teddy Roosevelt’ – just two of many US presidents well-known as nudey swimmers – and that it’s a matter of patriotism to follow in the footsteps of Great Rulers of the Great Nation. Throw in a quote for credibility. Roosevelt once said, “If we swam the Potomac, we usually took off our clothes.” A man who once went forward with a speech immediately after receiving a bullet in his chest is surely not a man to disagree with, and he’s on your side with this.
Matter of Hygiene
You ever tried to shower wearing clothes? Of course not. It’s a ridiculous idea. How would you get in all the nicks and crannies? Now, if the body of water in question is a crystalline alpine lake that coaxes with its electric blue waters, it’s pretty much a guarantee you’ve been out in the woods for days. You’re disgusting. Grab a handful of sand, plunge into that glacier melt and get to washing.
Contribute To A Consumer-Free USA
America depends on its citizens buying a bunch
of crap regardless of how unimportant the product may be. Some say that the consumption of unnecessary goods is what keeps the nation’s wheels spinning. Others feel that unchecked purchasing contributes to a cultureless society where garbage takes the place of experience and connections with other members of the society. The bathing suit industry is by no means excluded from this downward spiral of a country’s culture being flushed down the toilet. If skinny-dipping became the norm, the bathing suit industry would shrivel like a pair of a skinny-dipper’s bedazzlers, and while some might think this hurts
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America, others know it’s best for the reemergence of what is good and just.
Some think a naked dip in an alpine lake is as close as we can get to spiritual purity, where we let the flab float, our extremities flopping and flapping in an ice bath of salvation. It’s a matter of joy, not shame. To be naked is wonderful.