Urban Dictionary: Outdoors Edition
Since 1999, Urban Dictionary has entertained web users with alternative (and often crass) definitions for everyday words and phrases. By last count, the site featured more than 6.7 million humorous descriptions, many of them user-generated. Here are some entries pertaining to outdoor activities that we’d like to see included in the UD someday.
The act of throwing an unused blue bag at a fellow backcountry hikers face, thereby covering their face in cyan-colored goop. Only recommended on the last day of travel, and ‘unused’ is stressed.
Television actor best known for playing a solo adventurer.
The act of alerting the other members of your hiking party that you’ve just spotted a bear, then mooning them when they look in your general direction.
A Camelbak container that (unknown to the owner) contains small traces of vodka, gin or other clear liquor; the unsuspecting owner will become increasingly intoxicated without realizing it, and hilarity will likely ensue.
Hiking while hungover or still intoxicated from the previous night.
A deer, elk or other edible forest creature unlucky enough to cross paths with an oncoming car or truck.
The act of hiding raw animal products in a friend’s backpack prior to hiking a trail frequented by dog-walkers.
An inebriated skinny dipper who attempts to hide from onlookers by quickly submerging him/herself beneath the surface of the water, thereby exposing his/her buttocks and making the situation that much funnier.
A nonsensical phrase, repeated over and over, intended to further confuse methamphetamine-addled individuals you may encounter during a routine hike. For example: “The school bus ate all my sandwiches” or “Do you have change for a goldfish?”
Literally the worst idea ever.
The act of throwing small stones at a tent where sexual activity is taking place. May be accompanied by animal calls.
This questionably affectionate gesture occurs when someone returns home from a multi-day outdoor excursion and immediately embraces their spouse or domestic partner, who has bathed and groomed during his/her loved one’s absence.
Are there any entries we may have missed? We’re open to suggestions.