Nov 11, 2012

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Why You Should Destroy Your Car

Why You Should Destroy Your Car

I am a cyclist living in Los Angeles, a terrible place for engaging in such a “useless activity” (as one L.A. opinion columnist put it). The streets of L.A. create obstacle courses of chaos where bike lanes are one-foot wide pits of glass, bright yellow Hummers and lifted SUVs speed through the streets like great traveling middle fingers, smog hovers above the skyscrapers like the ghosts of vultures hoping for us to be smeared across the pavement so they can pick through our innards. To court LA’s streets via bicycle is to flirt with death. Perhaps that is overdramatic, but the truth is it really does suck. Beyond making for a miserable two-wheeled commute,

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Why to Destroy You Car
Cars kill people (According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), the leading cause of death in the United States for individuals between five and thirty-four years of age is motor

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How to Destroy Your Car
Effectively killing your car is more difficult than you may think – not to mention dangerous

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is to sail it off a cliff and into the ocean to create an artificial reef for marine life to enjoy. Make sure you siphon all the gas first and then get a couple burly friends to push it downhill and off the edge. You can also get a big stick, a baseball bat or a samurai sword, and then bludgeon it to death. The damage caused by this may be merely cosmetic on

first attempt, so go beyond the windows and tires, pop the hood and attack the engine. You can also set it on fire, turn it into a home for rodents and/or passing vagabonds, take it to a demolition yard, saw off

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